Vánoce has come a little late in the Conservatory...

I am finally back to writing with the fervor and vengeance of 10,000 horses (okay, so maybe only one). But seriously, Ms. Peacock, two holidays come and gone with out a peep? It is almost unfathomable to think that I have gone this long without divulging the secrets and whimsical traditions that are the Czech Christmas.

First off, a much belated Krásné Vánoce to everyone. I spent the holidays in Chicago (begrudgingly) and all my recent free time has been spent adapting to my overwhelming teaching load, 2 am-barefoot-McDonald’s runs with my little brother, a serious interest in Czech cinematics (Peacock reviews flying to you in February) and some wholesome quality time with Bee Knees. Perhaps these are lame excuses for the major lapse in my writing, but believe me, I am all in it now.

So Christmas, or rather the preparation and events leading up to Christmas were incredible. This is a summation of my three weeks of Czech Christmas before Chicago:

1. Christmas show with my skiddets (I taught them Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars” and we preformed this, which was hilarious!)

2. Mama Pavla prepared a scrumptious Bromboraky (finally J) & Bees Knees met the family.

3. I gained 3kg in cukroví weight, mostly from two particular Christmas cookies Linecké koláčiky (I made some of these with Iveta—rather she let me put the marmalade in and make the sandwich part) and vanilkové rohlíčky. Just look at the first two pictures and you will know what I am talking about. A platter of trouble.

4. Christmas Markets (even in Bratislava) are the best way to spend an afternoon waiting for the Czech Embassy to open, but be weary of drinking too much cherry medovina, lokša (funny video), and Cigánska Kuracia-- soooooo good.

5. I was spoiled rotten by all my students, friends, and the family with wonderful, thoughtful, gifts including; a Czech to English Picture book dictionary (courtesy of my gymnasium students), homemade honey and Christmas bread, Langoš, ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%C3%A1ngos), A Czech cookbook (which I used to make my Christmas Bramborový salát), a marionette puppet, & a DVD of the famous Czech Fairytale, Popelku (again, Peacock reviews flying to you soon).

6. Bees and I spent owned1.5 hours trying to figure out how to put English Subtitles on Czech Movie Pelišky. Note: Never let Bees Knees near a jablko computer, he gets very upset with them.

7. Endless Christmas shopping in the Litomyšl Sqaure only to get to Chicago and realize I bought more gifts than I had people to give them to. Many of these unclaimed gifts are sitting wrapped on a shelf in Chicago.

So yes, I spent Christmas in Chicago and I will talk about that a bit later, but this blog is about Czech and everything stupendous about it. Tak, what are the traditions and customs of the Czech Christmas (Bullet points are my best option for this one).

· Christmas Dinner: The traditional Czech Christmas dinner (Note: on the 24^th, not the 25^th, you American heathens) consists of Kapr (Carp, which many of my students have told me is often substituted with chicken or, for some, steak because come on, who really likes carp?), Bramborový salát (potato salad, which I prepared and served at my families Christmas Eve celebration and accordingly, was a huge hit—even Neil liked it), Fish Soup (you know you want some more carp with your carp, but a Czech meal would not be complete without polévka) & of course, one thousand million bagillion septillion Christmas cookies.

· Fasting for the Golden Pig: Some Czech families (for skiddets) fast the entire day of the 24^th (or have a light lunch, which is a big deal!) leading up to the large dinner in hopes of “seeing the golden pig”, which is believed to bring the children good luck that year. (Read: Czech Republic- Waiting for the Golden Pig)

Note: The Czech appear to be a very superstitious bunch, thus the traditions mentioned below will have everything to do with the Czech custom of inanimate objects predicting the health, fortune, well-being and up coming marriages of a family.

· The Floating of the Walnut Shells: To be done only if you want your death predicted (kidding). Each person in the family gets half an empty walnut shell and a small candle is placed inside so that it is standing up (we used hot glue, but you can use candle wax to make it stick up). All the shells are then placed in a bowl of water and if your shell-boat floats across the bowl you will have a long and healthy life (Success for Viktorie!), but if your boat-shell sinks, you will die or maybe you will have bad luck J

· Pouring of the lead: When I first saw this in the Pelišky movie (Aleš finally got subtitles because he is the best!) I kind of wondered what the heck was going on, especially when he Jindoich looked at this blob of silver metal and said “Dávám bolševikům jeden rok. Dva nejvýše” ( I give the Bolsheviks one year. Two at the most). The pouring of the lead is when lead is melted over fire and then poured into a container of water. The shape is supposed to reveal something of the pourer’s destiny. Unfortunately, in Pelišky, Jindoich must have gotten something wrong.

· The Cutting of the Apple: After dinner many families will cut an apple in half at the core (horizontal) and the inside should reveal a five-pointed star, which means everyone will be together the next year in happiness and well-being. Any other points less than five (a cross) is said to be a bad sign, meaning that someone will die or fall ill within the year.

· The Throwing of the Shoe: My most uncomfortable Czech tradition occurred when my co-teacher Iveta made me throw a shoe at our classroom door (without telling me what this signified). According to the Czech custom, unmarried women are supposed to throw a shoe over their shoulder towards the door. If the shoe lands with the toes pointing towards the door, the girl will be married within the year. Luckily, for me, my shoe toes were pointing opposite the door, however, to Iveta this signified that I would most certainly not be getting married in Chicago, but of course, the opposite side meant that I would be getting married here in Litomyšl. Thanks, Iveta.

& Finally, my favorite part of the Czech Customs and Traditions: There is no Santa Claus who climbs on your roof and magically stuffs his hefty body down the chimney. No, no, it is Baby Jesus, Ježíšek, who flys in through the window and delivers the children’s presents. I must admit this is much better than a fat man, in a red suit, who eats your cookies. & these guys agree with me.

So this is my Czech Christmas story to you & there is a bunch I am leaving out like: the Christmas tree is decorated with ornaments and lights on Christmas Eve, sometimes people put fish scales under their plate to bring wealth (another superstition), after dinner the families sit together and watch fairytales, Christmas Eve is not for the big extended family just your immediate family… & I really hope my mom will consider letting me stay next year (kidding).

Pictures from Baby Jesus….

I gave each of my Basic school students a mythical $1,000,000 CZK to spend on gifts for classmates and what 90% of my students give me as a gift? Lagoš and Pivo

Some walnut shell floating action with the skiddets.

Yes, I know what this looks like, but it taste DELICIOUS! Lokša... [sigh] tukovy goodness.

Trouble in Liquid form....

Famous Bratislava Christmas Market in Old Town

The Lokša stand....

Yes, I swear by that Christmas tree that Ježíšek came through that window and delivered those presents!

My "Oh, So, Successful Bramborový Salát"

Given that most of these photos are of food, I don't want readers to think I only sit around eating... I injure myself too. & this is just a preview of what you will read about next!

A look at Prosinec (December) and the 5th

Mikuláš

December 5^th might be one of the greatest holidays of the Czech year. The United States observes the same holiday, St. Nicholas Day, but the practice is rather analogous. I remember hearing when I was younger that if I put a shoe outside my door when I went to bed, St. Nick would come and put some gold coins in my shoe. Six and seven year old Vic woke with overwhelming excitement only to be gravely disappointed: not only were her shoes back in her room, but there were no gold coins in them. Blast!

However, this year, as my student paraded around singing tunes about devils (čerti) coming to take the naughty children away in brown, tattered, rucksacks, I could not help but giggle. So, this is what this day is about.

I am remiss that I do not have the photos I took with Mikuláš and his gang of Angels and Devils, but I know the photos are circulating around with the teachers of the Kindergarten for pure amusement. At first, this idea of scaring children into good behavior (telling them that unless they are virtuous and wholesome a scary devil will toss them in a bag-pytel- and carry them to hell) was, admittedly, a little unnerving, but at a certain point, I began to warm to the idea. & So when the devils walked passed the children, especially my misbehaving maly Jakub (who was clinging to my leg for dear life), I could not help but make that tisk, tisk motions and say... ”Když budeš zlobit tak tě čerti odnesou do pekla.“

It is Czech tradition that the evenings are far more dreaded and pure terror for the children. At school, they are safe; at home, it is a different story. Older students and adults walk around the town, come into children’s homes, and quite literally scare them to tears &, supposedly, better behavior. The next day we did notice a dramatic change in some of our more defiant little ones.

With December 5^th looming ahead I asked Bee Knees what he remembered of this day in his youth. “It scared me so much that I used to hide in the basement.”

To the children that I never will have: we will certainly celebrate December 5^th in the Czech style.

In other news, I am officially a legal citizen of the Czech…for 180 days. Thank you to the Czech Embassy in Bratislava for making the procurement of this visa more difficult than travelling around the world.

Today is the Christmas Market in Litomysl and I am two glasses of punč in and I can fly. Thanksween and Christmas Market?! How does the happiest girl get happier?

The first ever Litomysl Thanksweek. I had a little to much sleepy punč and feel asleep early than I wanted to, but they even made a Churkey (Chicken called turkey) & creppy finger cookies that were delicious!

How the punč begins...

and how the punč ends... No, it is not like a warm Sangria.

Skiddets and their new favorite English toy. How could the čerti come and take them away.

A continuation & then there was Brno.

I have been bad, very bad, because I have forgone updates in favor of travelling & visiting. How shameful. That said, I must admit that I have been enjoying my time with a lovely new friend who I just think is the bee’s knees, or maybe he just has bee’s for knees.

Where to begin. Weeks three, four, & five of the Czech food Challenge have been met with raging success from Brno to Prague—mixed with a brief trip back to old time Americana for some apple pie.

We should asterisk these:

Bramborak. It was okay… I blame it on the copious amount of Prague food vendors. Perhaps I should have done more research or rather used my brain. How could I expect to get delicious fried potato pancakes at an outdoor carnival in December? My new theory is this: One should only expect, and thus order, outdoor fried food in the summer when one’s skin is frying too. Maybe I will try indoor Bramborak.

Smazeny Syr. I wish I had read this blog before I went on quest for the Smaz. Oh well, next time. Best part of the Smaz? Getting to eat it along with my little brother and a dark beer (this makes Vic a happy girl J)

Trdelník Delicious sugary thing? Yes, please. A most nutritious and hearty breakfast for this andelska divka. Watch them make it here.

While Prague appeared to be fried and friendly, Brno definitely added its own flavor to the challenge serving up the cult classics like: Punč, pizza, everything that my friend Irena’s sister made for me. Enough on food for now, but first, let me tell you that my recreation of Punč at the first ever Litomyšl Thanksween is sure to be the best thing since my apple pie ala Brno.

On Prague:

Highlights of this excursion were definitely the human traffic jam in the underground station at Stare Mesto. It appeared that every breathing soul in Prague (& some not) joined the odyssey leading to the lighting of the Christmas tree. There must have been someone there saving lives. I went to a hookah bar-whoops!

Highlight number two was taking photos of my little brother and I wearing Staropramen box armor-like helmets. It never gets old dressing up. The drinking of the Staropramen was enjoyable too. Oh yes, let’s tie in looking for sushi in Prague at 11 PM.

Serious highlights arrived the morning after. This time I was wiser, I had some kind gents lead me to Charles Bridge so I could begin my tourist-trap-trek from there.

I got to tackle Kampa, which I equate as the Central Park of Prague. Big open space, people walking their dogs, some humongous trees with the autumn season still tacked to their bodies, and of course sculptures of crawling babies reading books (should be in every park). Kampa is beautiful, especially on a Sunday morning when all the smart folks are still in bed sleeping. Upon further review, I will have to check out

Petřín for more greenery in Prague.

Just west of Kampa is John Lennon Wall & for all you Beatles lovers you will just have to take a look at the innumerable photos below.

A short distance from the John Lennon Wall is a sight not in the tourist book! However, it was a place I had been keen to find for sometime. My friend Kat wrote a great piece on this attraction a few months back, or rather the novel that inspired the action/movement. A more revealing account can be found here. Locks of love not to be fooled with Locks of love is a movement where lovers attach a lock to a bridge and then throw the key in the water as a symbol of their immortal and boundless love for each other. A romantic concept, no?

Prague was wonderful, as always, but I was eager to return to Litomysl to see “Bees Knees“. That evening we got lost in the forest and had to climb what appeared to be a small landslide (at least that is what it seemed like in the dark). Nothing will solidify a new friendship like finding your way out of dark, large, forest, together.

On Brno:

Massive Malls, big "racket" clocks, Twilight, and an outdoor festival (“Yet another excuse for Czech folks to drink outside,“ Bees Knees), but not in this order.

Last weekend I ventured to the second biggest city in Czech Republic, Brno. Friday afternoon, Irena and I set out on 90 Km of Czech Highway to visit her sister, Pavla, in what could only ascertain, given its breadth from the city center, as the Logan Square neighbourhood of Brno, which made jubilant. At last, a neighborhood haven in the Czech.

Shortly after arrival Irena and I hit the most commercial and modern tourist attraction right outside Brno, Olympia. It is a shopping center or rather a commercial palace in the middle of fields. Rest assured, I was able to do plenty of shopping and I am finally outfitted with appropriate clothing for Czech zimní.

That evening we hit the “clubs“ and I partook in a substantial amount of Tequila and B52 drinking.

Saturday was lazy and filled with Pavla and Rere sturtting around the house, modeling heels and designer jeans, while this lowly American made apple pie :)

Bees Knees ventured from his home in the center all the way out to Brno, Logan, to take me for a walking tour and movie.

Highlights of our tour were the big astronomical clock or colloquially, and affectionately, referred to as the "racket" clock. Unfortunately, because of winter darkness I was not able to get live photos, but hopefully these will suffice (here and here). I mean, come on, you cannot even read the time on that thing.

At last the tour of the fine city of Brno came to an end.

One piece of new found Czech Trivia:

What is the longest word in Czech?

Nejneobhospodařovavatelnějšímy (the gist being, the land where nothing grows)

Makes the longest English word, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, seem lame

....................... & pictures

It's like the Magic Kingdom, but better because it is in the Czech Republic

Makin' the "most" of the morning. HAHAHA!

Babies reading books in Kampa, I wasn't kidding

We have a matching chair in Litomysl--sister cities with Prague...

The "love" bridge.

a lot of eternal love...

It's all you need...

John Lennon Wall.

One of the only clear indicators that this indeed was the Lennon wall.

Giant tree that reminded me of Autumn in Winter.

The one, the only, great, Prague, tree. Somewhere out there a forest is crying for its long lost brother. Charlie Brown would be disgusted

Unimpressed by this bramborak...

Minecraft gear circa Prague 2011

The smaz....& first order of fries since I left the US.

Breakfast...

Yet, another excuse to drink outside in Brno.

Some semi-tangible evidence to prove that I actually was in Brno.

The peak sight before Bees Knees and I got lost in the forest.

The Two Week Eat-a-Thon or "Czech Food Challenge"

Prelude:

On November 11^th while many Americans celebrate Veteran’s Day, the Czech, and many other nations throughout Europe, celebrate St. Martin’s Day. Some people compare it to the American Thanksgiving, as it is the “Feast of St. Martin”. It celebrates the end of the harvest and the inevitability of winter.

On this day the parents and children of my town gathered in the Kindergarten playground with lanterns and torches and we walked through out the town with “St. Martin” as our guide, passing out paper snowflakes to on lookers (lampion festival) Many of children wore antennas on their heads pretending to be beetles who begin their “rest” for the winter season. On a side note, I am happy to report that our St. Martin was not ‘riding around town on a white horse’ (Martin přijíždí na bílém koni), which may just mean we are safe from the snow for a little while longer. To celebrate St. Martin’s Day, and the weeks before the Advent (which is kind of like the weeks of feasting), many of the restaurants in town have special dishes centering on husa, or goose. I have yet to try this.

In honor of St. Martin’s Day (although past) and Thanksgiving (soon to be encroaching on the waists of my fellow Americans), I bring you my own version of the two-week eat-a-thon to celebrate the harvest bounty and the melding of my two homes. I might even try goose!

Beginning:

For the past three months, I have had an overwhelming fear of the Czech restaurant. Not because I do not think I will enjoy the food, but simply because I feared not actually knowing what I was ordering. This week and the weeks proceeding, I have decided that the time has come to abandon this fear all together, thus the Czech Restaurant Challenge has been born. In homage to my hometown of the “good eats”, I will put Czech Cuisine head to head with some of the more infamous Chicago establishments (although, I will write, without hesitation, that Chicago still makes the best hamburgers in the world.

The Rules:

There is only one rule: try a new restaurant or new Czech cuisine--one I have not already had served to me in my school canteen.

I am happy to report that this week our victories have been tenfold! Not only did I try a new restaurant, an altogether to new “experimental” dish, but also the lovely Ava, můj rodiny Babička, prepared homeade Svičkova in honor of Aleš’s birthday.

The ceremonious restaurant where I finally broke down and had my first official Litomyšl dining experience was the infamous U Kolji. I am not quite sure if it is infamous, but I have had many people recommend it to me. It is a Ukrainian Restaurant (but because it is in Litomyšl it counts) and I was thankful that I could review the menu online several times before I made my way over, thus avoiding the potential of me staring blankly at the menu, crying, and going home hungry because is didn’t know what I should order.

The entire menu was enticing, but after much review, on this smoggy Tuesday, I finally decided upon the traditional Boršč and Holbuci. I was not disappointed. The boršč was incredible as I had been told it would be. The Holbuci was also delicious-it is hard to screw up steamed cabbage wrapped around meat mixed with rice covered in a wicked cream sauce.

One thing I have forgotten about eating such delicious food is that cramping that begins post a good meal. You know, where you have stuffed yourself beyond comprehension and you have to slouch because your posture has been swallowed up along with the food. Yea, that one, but it is so worth it.

The second dining out experience occurred last Saturday after my friend, Tomáš, and I returned from our walking venture in Budislav, where we nearly made it back to Borka before dark. He took me to this little restaurant and gave me my first experience with tatarský biftek, colloquially steak tartare (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steak_tartare). A skeptic at first; I was not immediately sold on the raw beef and egg idea. After a brief explanation of what this was (and yes, although not traditionally Czech) and a reference to Mr. Bean I thought I was ready. It was sooooooooooooooo good. Okay, maybe not the most appetizing thing to look at, but it is really fun to play with. You mix the beef and egg with all these different ingredients and spices like: ketchup, dijon, capers, onions, dried parsley, and other UFO (Unidentifiable.Food.Objects). Then you spread it on toast. The best part was realizing that you could smear garlic on toast! This blew my mind--& yes, I have had garlic bread, but this was different. In addition, thanks to Tomáš, I have found out where the Czech hide the dark beer- in pubs hidden in the middle of nowhere. So happy to have dark beer back in my life.

& Now I save the best for last. Today, or rather Thursday, was Aleš Birthday (he is growing up so fast) and today we had a huge, massive, epic, birthday lunch. After eating so much food, all we could do was roll around on the floor, but maybe that was just me. A couple weeks ago I met the families grandmother, Ava, and we shared some piva over at my favorite pub-Veselka. We talked about Czech cuisine and my Czech Dad said that Ava made the best Svičková and she promised that she would make it. Today she went above and beyond. Svička means candle, so for the sake of my poor Czech I almost want to call it candle meat, but it’s most certainly not. It is a delicious, tender, marinated beef that is served with knedlíky (steamed bread dumplings –yum yum J) and omáčka (sauce, and in this case a thick creamy sauce made from carrots, parsley, turnip, &… other goodness). It is not hard to understand why this is a signature Czech dish. Incredible. To top it all off there was a cake that I cannot even begin to go into detail about.

Overall, I would call this first week of the “restaurant” challenge a raging success. I have a few other signature Czech dishes that I must try before I can consider this challenge a wrap. These include: bramborák, vepřo knedlo zelo, & the notorious, smažený sýr.

My only regret for this post is that I do not have pictures of our epic family meal nor many of my other restaurant ventures—next time.

Next week Prague, where my missions are few, but grand!

Fotky

Poor iPhoto shot of Lampion Festival and St. Martin--I should invest it a night time camera.

What I am happy St. Martin has not brought to Litomyšl, yet. He can so stick it in the mountains.

Borščing it.

Tackling the Holbuci...

A slouch worthy American meal-circa autmer (summer/autumn) 2010 New York

Working off the slouch from the eat-a-thon by observing others partake in physical activity- floorball (see floorball videos).

& the kicks here are still the same.

It appears many of us in this home have an affinity for taking pictures atop children's toy riding horses. It's just too bad I don't have a sombrero on. :)

Kotelna-Music Clubbing

On a note of full disclosure: While I am still recuperating form the events of last night, I was all to eager, to expose the Czech music scene that I was graciously invited to partake in yesterday. Aleš, you know you are the best.

Last night was my first experience in the Kotelna, Music Club Litomyšl. This had been a place of great intrigue, mystery, a place that I would walk by at least once a week always wondering when I, Victoria Sroka, would step foot beyond those red doors into the abyss, finally hearing, with my own ears, the music reverberating off the walls. Yesterday, it was finally my turn.

The first thing I noticed was how intimate the space is. I love music, but get me in a big room like the All State Arena or even UIC Pavilion and I will freak the f*ck out. Kotelna is great though and is a lot like Double Door, before the indoor smoking ban.

When you walk in it is a breeze, you’re not fumbling for your ID, there’s no bouncer looking you up and down, and while you have to push past people (literally I think every Litomyšlan from 18-35 were there) you are still able to sidle your way to the front without much effort and fewer beer spills.

The cocktails were the second thing I noticed, mainly one (for originalities sake and how it made me nostalgic for warm summer nights, watching movies projected of the balconies of friends apartments). This cocktail was “The Big Lebowski”. I did not order one, although I was tempted, maybe next time. Nothing gets me quite in the mood to dance my face off like vodka, Kahlua, & cream --read pop culture section. The gang and I stuck to beers and I was again reminded that my Czech language skills (specifically ordering) are not as up to snuff as I once thought. I do not know what I would do with out my “designated translator” and the people of Litomyšl who cut me some slack when I speak in English.

I shall reiterate that the concert was awesome! The band we were there to see was WOHNOUT. They are an indie-alternative band with a ton of endurance; I have never jumped so much at a concert! Back in the states my dance moves are notorious for being… well there is video somewhere, anonymously I hope. However, here I have finally found people who dance the same way I do, pointer fingers and all. That is right, my finger dance is back! That said my dance moves were no match for the three, sloshy, older woman who were moshing and attempting to make out with the security guard for 80% of the show- I wish I had taken video.

After the show, Aleš and I accosted the band for signatures and I got all four of them to sign my ticket. This might have had something to do with the fact that I am from Chicago and very few Americans can be found dancing like crazy at the Litomyšl music club. They very friendly and took time to chat and take pictures.

& now pictures…

Guitar player from unknown opening band. I talked to him briefly as I was leaving. Evidently he had been to Chicago, but actually just the airport.

Saxophone from the opening band.

Wohnout!

More Wohnout....

Jan & I. He was sweet and told me that these guys would be in New York come January.

Wohnout Set list. Pepiěi was fantastic

The evidence and proof.

& because it's funny...Czech polygamy.